Bloggers, Blawggers, Blahggers

I recently signed up to be a member of a fashion bloggers' community as I thought it would be a great way to connect with my peers.  I obviously had no idea what I was getting myself into; the vehemence of my fellow members is unsettling and ballsy.

Shortly after creating my profile and taking a few (several) minutes to write and add a short quip about myself and this blog, I received my first friend requests.  How nice, I thought, maybe they found my blog through my profile and liked it or something.  Or, maybe they saw that I updated my profile in the member activity feed and said "Fresh meat!  A new fellow blogger who I can beg to visit my site!"  It was definitely the latter.  Shortly after accepting their requests, I received private messages from my new "friends" asking if I would visit their blog and if so, they would gladly return the favor if I sent them a link to my own blog.

First of all, the link to my blog is clearly on my profile.  So if you were that interested in learning about me or my blog, you could have found it yourself.  If you're giving me an ultimatum by stating that you'll only visit my blog if I visit yours, I AM NOT GOING TO VISIT YOUR BLOG.  Sure, I'd like to have more readers, but I want to earn your attention and loyalty.  I don't want you to visit my blog out of a mere formality.  I continue to receive a request from a certain member every single day and I continue to reject them because the second time I accepted their invite they sent me the same exact spam message they sent the first time.  Their status is also "subscribe if you're feeling nice."

Is this what "networking" has become?  I'm not saying us bloggers shouldn't be supporting each other, I'm saying some of us are going about it in the wrong way.  We should be building relationships with each other, and simply sharing links and hoping for the best is not building a relationship.  While you may get a few hits on your blog from your new friends, if you don't go beyond that first transaction you're just inflating your perception of influence.  While number of visits is good and well, I think the true test of a good blog is the level of engagement with readers.  I can tell a blogger really cares about their readers when their content is inspired by their readers and they take the time to respond to their readers' comments.  I doubt the most successful blogs became successful because they sent solicitations to anyone and everyone they could get their hands on.

I know not every blogger is like this, but it seems like a good bit are using this brash method of self-promotion.  When did this become acceptable? Are there any other bloggers out there who are tired of all the spam from your peers?